Are you 1st, 2nd or 3rd ? ? ?

Have you ever consider what type of friends you are having? After hearing what I have to say, you might need to reconsider...

It is already late at night, I suppose I will be straighforward.

So, theoretically, there are 3 classes of friends. Lets start from the very bottom.

3rd- Class Friends

1. Not long ago, we have 1 famous BM quote " Diam-diam ubi(s) berisi." Bingo! ! !They are third class friends... Excluding that SOSAM loudmouth of course.

2. In short, these friends are those who would just happily sit back and grin quietly ( ? ) at you when you are in trouble. Of course, a much worse case would be backstab.

3. They will always say "I am stupid. I know nothing. I am a failure" when they actually know everything.

4. They practice modesty and they don't like to show off, especially to girls.

5. They don't, and will never like to be " Heroes / Heroines".

6. They like to indulge in their own fantasy.

7. They prefer not to know you, but at least they are NOT pretentious. (- 7 in 2nd class.)

2nd- Class Friends

1. They like to pohhhh

2. They like being pohhhh.

*pohhhh means saying nice words which "APPEARS" to be nice. "Appears" only!!

3. They like to both pohhhh and being pohhhh at the same time.

4. They like to become Pinochio. ( The cartoon boy with long nose. Perhaps long neck as well? oooOoooo. Nice hint.)

5. They gain friends by pohhhh-ing others and sponsor them free answers. ( go to 7 in 1st class.)

6. They feel happy when doing all the above.

7. They are "pretentious" SOBA students!!!!

8. They are best at camouflage and taking many sides at a time.

9. They will always say "your shirt is dirty" and clean the dust for you, even when it is actually dust-LESS (Hyperbole) !!!

10. They will NOT shake head. They only nod. * ZhengLik : Shake head x 100000

-Congratulations, ZhengLik.-

11. They will greet you with words like " yo, entao ~.~" and "geng lo" but also secretly cursing you from behind. (Just an example.) *ZhengLik : still Shaking head. Take wrong pills.?!?!

And Finally.......

1st- Class Friends

1. They are the only good guys, but yet they are treated as "bad guys"? Again, this can be treated as the "after effect" of honesty.

2. They may use harsh words like "your head la", and "go and dye!! " on you. But don't be mistaken, it is for your own good.

3. They will leave a lot of wonderful and creative comments on your question papers such as :"It is a nuisance using liquid paper."(The truth often hurts) and " Ganbateh"

4. They don't encourage you to use liquid papers. 1 liquid paper cost RM5.xx. However, they will advice you that IF you really need to use, make sure you USE MORE. Don't leave stains behind.

*ZhengLik : stop shaking head. Journey to ICU.....

5. They are HONEST. Honesty is the "worst" policy. That is why 1st-class friends are seldom being appreciated by others.

6. They are not SOBA students.

p/s : SOBA ONLY refers to "School of Obedient Band-6 actors" in the above case.

7. They don't simply give their friends free answers but teach, scold and also take the "extra trouble" to CRITICISE them carefully.

8. They can make themselves being welcomed by others,

Buuuut

THEY choose not TO.

Huiyo!!!!

- End of explaination-

After listing this, I notice that 2nd-class friends are by no means better than 3rd-class friends. In fact, they are even worse.

Do you find these types of friends among your mates?

I suppose the above notice would be helpful.

Beware.....

Perhaps it is also time to reconsider yourself as well.

Codename : Agent Backstab

Do you play chess? Or rather, have you even played chess before?
If you say no, then you should really go and knock your head against the wall.
To many others, a chess may just be a small game;
But in reality, a chess is a war,
Or rather, a war is a game of chess..
A war is all about strategies, tactics , how to use the "lecturer's eyes" and "lecturer's ears"
correctly, how you control your subordinates....bla bla bla etc...
Okay, I admit it, I am not good at this type of philosophical things...
Buuuut, certainly this is not the main point.
Huh? Why did I even spend so much time in it then?
To be honest, if I keep this up, I am afraid that the royal bishop JS is going to kill me for mocking his favourite game chess like this, not to even mention the rooks, knights...etc. ( Waa, level 3 analysis ?! =.=)
But certainly not the pawns, for they are the main subjects here.








Okay, time to continue ...
To me, pawns are the most important pieces in chess as they make up half the population,
Okay, I was wrong, they are second most important after the King.
p/s : My own theory. Sorry if offending. JS, don't kill me...
(Next time will put bishop most important. But.......That is NEXT TIME!! !)
And their small misbehaviour will result in a "fatal" checkMATE...
Straight to the point, these pawns, or also known as royal messengers.... (the name that they usually use to comfort themselves with.) * ZhengLik :Shake head. x 10
But, with technology gaining its importance in the modern era, seems like these pawns have totally gone out of control, even daring enough to backstab their own king...
Not only they misuse SMSes, now they even misuse e-mail accounts,
What is more, they blame their Best Friends * ZhengLik :Shake head x 100
Their rebellious and aggressive side is even more obvious when they decide to overthrow their own king, but ended up dragging innocent ZhengLik in the Process :
By backstabbing two of his fellow friends, one of them to be known as ZhengLik, this pawn, apparently known to be Agent I.G's best friend, and in desperation for entertainment, he sent an e-mail to a lecturer which contained 2 xXx links(don't misunderstand, in maths, x is just no more than an unknown,and X is bigger unknown??CoOl...), which one of them appeared to be http://zhenglik.blogspot.com/ !!!!!
*ZhengLik: Shake head x 1000.
This is purely bad attitude. From now on, you are Agent Backstab. Perhaps you are the one betraying us as well. *ZhengLik: -GRIN-
But, in the end, the failure still goes to the King as his highness does not teach his subordinates well. *ZhengLik: Shake head x 0.100000000000000000000(decimal matters)
Suggestion : Next time should use TORTURE !

*The King bid his utmost and sincere apology to ZhengLik, for his lack of control towards his undisciplined pawns.
BuuuUT, in return, ZhengLik should say thanks to Cy for helping him voicing out his frustration... ( Just another suggestion)

Aptitude & Attitude

Major announcement!

Aptitude test for UPSR students starting year .20xx.( forget the year=.=If not mistaken is 2009, last day of UPSR.)

To be more precise, it is supposed to be a IQ test for the 12-year-old students to evaluate their skills in problem solving, making decisions, rationality and mind capacity.
Not to say that it is a bad progress, but I would have given more credit to it if it is made an entry test for those who wish to enter any political parties in the future, or perhaps even as a mean to put more emphasis on quality rather than quantity. I wonder why they never do so?
(If you see this, just pretend you see nothing at all.)
Kids may be small, but it doesn't meant they are immature nor stupid. At least they are obedient....
I do not mean that the new test is unnecessary, just to be fair, I suggest that 'those who love to bark in front of the crowd' take it as well, so that we can witness a much more civilised side of the society. Not that the society is uncivilised now, just that we are exposed to the wrong image.
http://advocateviews.blogspot.com/2009/07/replace-macc-with-truly-independent-one.html#comments
A perfect example from above, just look at the video.

Ok. Now about the 'Obedient' theory that I promised to reveal, for which the SOBA students will never possess.
The theory states that when one is small﹐ particularly (for boys), they are usually very obedient.
Rumour states that when they grow up, especially after they enter a particular school they become rebellious and very undisciplined.
But recent research showed that it is not true. As these boys grow up, they become more obedient, improvising their original '1 obedient' to '3 Obedients', (strength in no always prevails)
The 3 Obedients theory... although some claimed to be more superior where they have '4 Os'
1st O- Obedient Ku
2nd O- Obedient Get
3rd O- Obedient xxx( too rude, preferably translated as 'Obedient Blue')

The fourth one is of course the Obedient(乖/怪) 巧!!!!!

Maths is Invincible

Have learning over 12+ years of maths, until this year, I never realise practically every problem can be solved with maths.
That is why, don't ever underestimate maths, from simple logical deduction in lab reports in INTI Penang to NBA basketball in America, nothing can run away from maths.
This year has beeeen such an interesting year. 10-hours lesson of math every week and we definitely can't deny that we have been thoroughly TORTURED,brainwAshed and exposed to the various applications of math.
First there was mathemathical induction, known for the purpose of drawing specific conclusion from general statements or the other way round. The first victim was none other than Leonardo, which with inspiration from our lecturer, had been targeted with countless induction bullets for his probability of hanging around with girls, and our conclusion was......not worth mentioning.
Then, we progress to NBA basketball. At first sight, it was none other than professional athletes doing routine shooting, lay-ups and scoring. But on second thought, these players despite having all their time devoted to sports, have mastered projectile motions. The angles, the relevant force, the shooting position of their hands, these must be done well, in fact approaching perfection become a good player. So, who say that good athletes are never excellent in studies? In fact, their level are far better than us, capable of applying them into their everyday lifes, unlike those who aced every single exam questions yet never think out of the box.
The most influential concept of maths was actually functions. Have you ever notice that, when you are playing online games or first-person shooters/counterstrikes, you are actually involved in a many-to-many function? From precision, agility to gaming skills which are all important winning factors in playing these games, all are dependant on how fast our brain analyse and interpret our opponents' stats and ability, again all with the help of logical induction and probability.
One boy touching another boy's hand in class, although very wrongful, is still a typical 1-1 function.
A couple, their loving relationship to each other is no other than a 1-1 function.
When a third variable try to come in, it became a 2-1 function. Hmm?
Sorry, wrong calculation, with further analysis, it is actually a 1.05-1 function, with the extra 0.05 totally negligible.
To be exact, every relationship is a function. From personal relationships, business partners and proposals , or even international treaties, they are all functions, and the fact that they are functions enabled them to be supervised systematically and accordingly .
So, maths is not always about scoring 90s,100 and Band-6. This concept is totally wrong.
Many have certainly been neglecting the true purpose of studying maths-to understand their flexibility and fully utilise them as an useful tool in every aspect of life.
So, can you still say that maths is useless? It is not up to me to decide. Afterall, my job is only to counsel and induce 'logic'.

Piranha Infestation.

H1N1 scary? Wait till you see this :


Warning. New household pest detected. Wait isn't this a Piranha? Rumors have it that this new hybrid of Piranha family can live even on land, and they actually levitate! (Leonardo's fault)

Analysis
HP : 1
ATT : 2

DEF : 0.1

SPD : 4

Poor stats ? Wait. Looks like I missed out something.

Special Skills :

i) Piranha fangs. = Poisonous, human flesh penetration.

Just look at this. Aren't you scared?
ii)Piranha Beam. Instant death. It is a suicidal move, so they seldom use it.

iii)Camouflage ability. Known for secretly sneaking into people's house, even dining rooms!

iv)Totally Immune to pest chemicals.

If you have this type of pest in your house, calling for pest control company (e.g. ABC Pest Control) is absolutely out of consideration, since they are immune to pest chemicals, you are only wasting your time. You will probably end up writing a letter of complaint to the company anyway, only to threaten them by proposing to bring the case to Court. Write in the wrong format somemore, like an old man rumbling. In the end you have redo the letter and submit!!

Credits given to wk the tauke for breeding this new type of living creature in his coffeehouse. Luckily, they have an extreme affinity for coffee, especially ice-blended ones (expensive taste.) and their desire for human flesh can be controlled by offering them free expressos. That explains why they hadn't spread out of wk's territory.

Beware of piranhas. Kindly bring them to wk-coffeeshop if you noted any in your house. He will tame them, with his trademark expresso.
Don't report to the police. The piranhas don't like Starbucks.